In seeking a shared 'lives with' order the following is brought to the attention of the court :

AR (A Child: Relocation) [2010] EWHC 1346 (Fam)

With regard to the granting of shared residence orders, the Honourable Mr Justice Mostyn comments "Indeed such an order is nowadays the rule rather than the exception even where the quantum of care undertaken by each parent is decidedly unequal. There is very good reason why such orders should be normative for they avoid the psychological baggage of right, power and control that attends a sole residence order, which was the one of the reasons that we were ridden of the notions of custody and care and control by the Act of 1989." (The Children Act 1989 prior to the further revision in April 2014 which saw residence and contact orders merged to a single child arrangements order)

In Re AR (A Child: Relocation) [2010] EWHC 1346 (Fam), Mostyn J said that a joint or shared residence order "is nowadays the rule rather than the exception even where the quantum of care undertaken by each parent is decidedly unequal". That, in my view, is to go too far. Whether or not a joint or shared residence order is granted depends upon a determination of what is in the best interests of the child in the light of all the factors in the individual case. However, it has certainly been established that it is not a pre-requisite for a shared residence order that the periods of time spent with each adult should be equal and nor is it necessary that there should be co-operation and goodwill between them, and shared residence orders have been made in cases where there is hostility. Re A is an example of this as the parents were there said to be "at loggerheads"."

Re F (Children) [2003] EWCA Civ 592

A shared residence order may be made, even when parents live considerable distance apart (in this case, England and Scotland) so long as the children divide their time between two homes (this does not mean the equal division of time). Parents living in separate countries does not prevent the granting of a shared residence order.

The court found that a shared residence order ´removes any impression that one parent is good, and responsible, and the other is not, and has the benefit of being more realistic in those cases where the child is to spend considerable amounts of time with those parents´.

Lord Justice Wall further confirmed that shared residence orders may be made even when one parent is hostile to the idea.

Re K (Shared Residence Order) [2008] EWCA Civ 526

"Such an order emphasises the fact that both parents are equal in the eyes of the law and that they have equal duties and responsibilities as parents. The order can have the additional advantage of conveying the court´s message that neither parent is in control and that the court expects parents to co-operate with each other for the benefit of their children."