#Article 68



There are very good reasons in trying to avoid contact centres and to consider alternative options and in this vlog I will be exploring why, but before I do, and you know what's coming, I simply must run my excellent introduction.

I am Philip Kedge, the director of the brilliant McKenzie Friend UK Network, where nothing I say constitutes legal advice because you don't need to pay for pointless lawyers in the family court and where my views and opinions are entirely my own. For all of your family court needs, and If you would like a free 30 minute consultation with a trained, trusted and vetted McKenzie Friend from the McKenzie Friend UK Network, contact me today at contactphil.co.uk 

So let me layout my thoughts. Contact Centres are routinely used to imprison fathers in having child contact between four walls, with plastic chairs, a few chewed toys and if you are under supervision, a guard with a clipboard hovering over you, watching your every move, physical contact and verbal exchanges with your children, frantically making notes to put into a report about your parenting. How humiliating is that!

Now, from my experience I see fathers simply accepting this imprisonment, as the best option, better to have some contact than no contact at all, which is of course true, and I am not going to argue against that, but what I am going to suggest is that fathers should be pushing for far better alternative options.

So, what are the alternative options and why are they important?

I suggest that fathers should put a position forward to try and secure contact in the community instead, particularly during the summer months, where you can take your children outside, down the park, to kick a football about or to play on the swings. Even if it is during the Winter months, there are plenty of indoor activity areas that are brilliant for the children, ranging from soft play areas to extreme indoor sports, well, perhaps not too extreme to be on the safe side, otherwise the mummy may hysterically freak out and we wouldn't want that to happen? Now, of course, some form of supervision may still be necessary and ordered by the court, and if so, don't panic, because perhaps the best supervision that you can consider is to pay for a private independent Social Worker to accompany you. Now the thing about independent Social Workers is that they are not really much more expensive than paying for a contact centre, and the courts will hopefully be reassured that you are being supervised by a professional who is also able to prepare a report for the courts if required. 

Now, there is also a possible option of proposing to be supervised by a relative or friend, the only downfall of that is that getting that past the court or indeed the irrationally anxious and emotionally challenged ex, who no doubt by now holds an implacable hatred for all of the paternal family, so it may be more difficult seeking agreement for your Aunt Bessie to step in.. 

The benefit of contact in the community compared to a contact centre are clear and obvious. You have far more freedom to explore activities and opportunities, and to be that great and loving father that you know you are, being able to bond again and more naturally with your children. Think of it as being on prison day release with your children, rather than them visiting you in prison. But I am going to make another important point, as to why contact in the community is also strategically important to your future position. 

You see, if the court decides that you need to be in a contact centre supervised or otherwise, you know that there is likely to be further stepped approaches to contact moving forward, which frequently goes a bit like this. Firstly often spending months in a contact centre, then progressing to weeks in of contact in the community, followed by allowing you to take the children back to your house for the first time in perhaps a year, to then introducing one overnight sleepover before building on further contact. 

Now, the longest stage is going to be stuck in the contact centre, so would it not be better to try and convince the court to skip that stage and to go straight into the community, especially if it is with a qualified independent Social Worker. If that social worker can then, at an early opportunity, produce a positive report where they recommend moving forward at a faster pace towards overnight contact, then that would be a massive win and very strong position. Once you have that professional report in your hands, it becomes very difficult for the mummy to oppose it, because the court will almost always support the professional and expert opinion. 

So, in conclusion, perhaps don't be too ready to accept a contact centre which in themselves can be very expensive. Do some research and look for independent social works in your areas, contact them, try and agree a package and then with the support of your McKenzie Friend from the McKenzie Friend UK Network, take that proposal to the family court, the court my even be impressed that you have taken the time to come up with a child focussed plan, that includes all the reasonable activities that you can engage in with your children.

That's me done folks, what do you think, am I right or wrong, what are your experiences, are you currently imprisoned in a contact centre and wished that you had proposed the alternative of being in the community, let me know in the comments box below. For all of your family court needs contact me today at contactphil.co.uk, until next time, stay strong.